Not Always a Fairy Tale
by hitomi-chan
Summary: Hitomi misses Van and drives to help clear her mind. but there's a car crash,making her forget about Van. years later,she is married and has a child,she starts having wierd dreams. soon she remember Van and is sent to gaea. what is she to do? VH H?
1. Memories of an Angel

Okay, here's another fic^^ this idea just came to me, so I apologise if someone has a familiar idea.  I'm not sure about my ending, it may end as H/V (I'm a super Van and Hitomi fan) or it may not.  It depends on you.  With your opinion, it will help me decide what to do.  I was thinking of not being a H/V fic, that's why the title is "Not Always a Fairy Tale".  If it ends up being a H/V, I'll change the title, but for now, it'll remain it the same.  I was trying to post this over the weekend, but there was no internet, so I could only post it until now, sorry-.-;; Well, enough talking and more reading, enjoy!!! ^__________^

Disclaimer- I do NOT own Escaflowne, and I do not own the song "The Ring", the Japanese version of "You're Not Alone".  All rights are reserved to those wonderful people who made the series, and the songs.  So please, don't sue me, this is for pleasure only, not for money=)

Okay, now read!!!!!!!!!! :p 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

*~*Not Always a Fairy Tale*~*

*~*Chapter One- Memories of an Angel*~*

It was just an ordinary day like all others for everyone.  Well, not for Hitomi. For her, each 

day that passed felt like a month, correction, _eternity_.  It seemed like the clock would take 

an era to tick to the next second, as if it never wanted to change.  For the last five years, her main hobby was to cry, and sleep.  And the source of all the water works was no other than because of Van.  

No matter how many times she tried, how many times she wished, the image of the raven 

haired boy just wouldn't live her mind alone.  Each time the image came to her, it took a 

piece of her broken heart.   For she knew that she couldn't be with him, and still she loved 

him with all her heart, and her deepest wish was to be with him, but she knew she couldn't.  

She knew that she would never be able to gaze into those dark rubbish orbs that always 

fascinated her.  To smell his sweet scent of fields whenever he held her close, to protect her, to love her, to hear the passionate words he said in her ear, telling her how he loved her so.  

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**_STOP!!  Stop it Hitomi!!  You're only hurting yourself even more by thinking like _**

**_this!!_**Screamed Hitomi inside herself.Even if she could stay with him, she wouldn't be 

able to stay too long from her world, regardless of her strong love for Van.  She couldn't just leave her family, friends, and memories all go down the drain.  They needed her and she needed them.  Only in a different manner from herself and Van.  

Besides, they would properly want him to marry a princess, right? After all, he is a _king_.  

Kings don't marry common girls, even if they are in love.  It just wasn't proper.  Those 

advisers of his wouldn't let such a thing happen.  So what was the point in grieving on this 

subject even more?  Crying wouldn't solve anything, so why bother?  **_Because I love him,_**_ **damit! **_Cried Hitomi mentally in despair, only in the process of making more tears slide down her tired face as she dropped to the floor, now crying uncontrollably.  

**_I gotta get a life_**.  Thought Hitomi while trying to regain her normal position with haggard breathes and using the back of her hand to dry away the tears that stained her angelical face.  **_Yukari keeps nagging me that even by the age of twenty I haven't had a boyfriend yet.  But than again, how can I do that when I have an image of him 24/7 on my mind?  It would feel as if I'm betraying my boyfriend by thinking of another man apart him, right? That's it!  I can't handle this!  I'm going to have a drive, yeah, maybe that will help clear my mind out._**With that thought finished, Hitomi jumped out of her bed and climbed down the stairs, and in the process, she collected her jacket and car keys.  

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**_                                                            *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*_**

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**_Ah, what would I do without my car?_**Thought Hitomi as she opened the car door open and plopped herself down on the driver's seat and turned on the engine, and not long after, she was driving down the road.  The truth was, every time she was feeling down or the image of "him" came into mind, she would drive to take away her stress.  By driving it 

would make her feel free, take all her problems and worries, making her feel as if she was a bird, soaring through the air with nothing to fear.  Even if it was just for a short period of 

time.  And most importantly, it would distract herself from thinking of Van.  

**_It feels so good to be an adult, especially because I can now drive without my _**

**_hysterical parents behind me, telling me the most incontinent stuff ever!  _**Thought Hitomi with a brief smile tugging at her lips.  

Hitomi hadn't grown very much after her return from Gaea.  From her experience on Gaea 

she matured a lot physically and mentally.  She wasn't the naïve, defenceless girl, but she 

could still cry like an immature.  Now she had a slim woman's body, having all the right 

curves at all the right places, a sight that would please any man.  She was gorgeous in any 

way and every form. With her bright emerald eyes, golden-brown hair that reached her 

shoulders, and soft rosy lips, she is any man's dream girl, eh, woman.  But lately her 

emerald eyes had lost its sparkle, but instead it was replaced by dull, tired eyes and dark 

circles, due to her "hobby". 

 The way she interacted with people had changed drastically.  Everyone noticed that the 

cheerful girl that once lived inside Hitomi was now a sad, protective, dry person.  The few 

times Hitomi smiles, they contain sadness and longing, as if she was missing something, or 

_someone_.  Someone to fill the empty spot that rested inside her heart, a painful emptiness, 

one that can only be filled by one person, Van. 

 Whenever her family and close friends asked why she was always so sad, she would 

quickly change subject, or seem as is she didn't hear.  No one pressed on the issue, taking 

the hint it was something that was hard for her to discuss.  After she returned, she built a 

wall around herself, as if afraid someone would hurt her, toy with her feelings.  She backed 

away from everyone, even her family.  She wouldn't share any of her emotions, too scared 

to have any kind of relationship.  She was scared of the world.  

While Hitomi was driving, she turned on the radio, searching for something soothing to 

listen too, something to relax herself.  Soon enough, Hitomi found her favourite station, 

"Mystic Mix"; there was always something good to hear in that channel, regardless of the 

time. Moments later, as Hitomi listened to the song playing on the radio, she let her hand 

rest outside of the car mind-absently, feeling the cool afternoon breeze tickle her creamy 

white skin. Not long after, she was singing to the song, but soon the song that was playing 

ended, and another song started.  When the lyrics started to play, Hitomi felt her heart stop.

_As my tears keep overflowing,_

_I can't see your last smile through the blur._

_Don't go! Don't go! Stay with me._

_Light breaks through the sky._

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**_This song reminds me when I left, Van… _**thought Hitomi as a single tear trickled down 

her face.

_I'm so insignificant but,_

_I loved you with all my soul, more than anyone._

_Thank you for…all of the,_

_Precious feelings._

_That you gave to me._

How can there be a song that describes my feelings so much??  Why must I hear this??  It's only bringing sadness to me, so why listen??  But I can't stop, I have to listen, I have to know what it's going to say next.  Debated Hitomi mentally, while trying to focus on the road.

_At that time, I just…_

_Watched for ages as the vapor trail vanished._

_Don't forget…_

_You're not alone._

_Even if we part, our hands are still linked._

_It was my first love, when I first_

_Learned of sadness like this._

STOP!! I don't want to listen to this anymore!!  It's bringing too many painful 

memories; it's making me remember of Van.  Remember the things I did with 

him, how happy I was with him.  Make it stop, make it stop!!  Cried Hitomi within 

herself as tears started pouring freely, blinding her from the road.

_Even if something fades away, _ _Something will live again._

_The smile you gave as we parted, was_

_Your message for me to triumph._

**_Why did I have to leave??  I love Van so much, and I left him!!  Screw family, _**

**_screw friends, I don't care anymore, nothing matters to me anymore, just Van.  I want you, Van!!!  _**Screamed Hitomi inside her head, forgetting she was driving, or that a truck was coming towards her direction.   

_Someday surely we'll meet again and be together._

_No matter how far, we'll stare into each other's eyes._

_Bet all our hopes and dreams._

_Let's promise each other,_

_That we'll hold on to the intensity,_

_Of that day._

_And live in the future that blooms in tomorrow…_

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**_Van!!  Take me back!!  Take me back with you!!! I can't stand it anymore, make _**

**_the pain go away, just like when you had your strong arms around me, making _**

**_me feel safe and loved.  Come and take me, please!!!  Nothing else matters _**

**_anymore_**…before Hitomi could finish her thoughts; she was blinded by a flash of bright light and a piercing honking noise.  There was a sharp, painful scream, and one last word 

muttered from Hitomi's lips before being engulfed into total darkness. 

Van… 

*´¨)   
  


¸.·´¸.·´¨) ¸.·*¨)   
   
 

(¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´   
  


   
                         

(´¸.·*·      

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Cliffhanger!!!  I'm sooo very evil!!  Please, please tell me your opinion, it really helps me.  I 

hope you liked the chappy:p  It's gonna to take a while before I up-date again, but please be patient, see you later!!

Hitomi-chan^-^

26/04/03


	2. Rebirth

Hello!!!!! *waves* I can't believe it's been so long!! *sobs* I'm so sorry!! *takes hanky and blows nose* This fic has been giving me a lot of author's block, blame it! *points to author's block* Muhahah! Have revenge on it! *cough, cough* too much sugar today, don't mind me n_n;; school is gonna start tomorrow!! *sobs even harder* NOO!!! Not fair u_u;; well, enough of my problems, enjoy the new chappy!!!  
  
***thank you list***  
  
**Love Witch**- *blush* thanks for the all support! Enjoy the new chappy!

**athena reloaded**-*blush* thanks!! I like to write poetry too n_n;; 

**Niffer**-THANKS!! Yeah, cliffys are evil, they always are, but that's what keeps the readers going!! lol.Enjoy!

 **Freelancer47**-yes, I'm very evil, muhahah! *cough* nah, just like to torture people sometimes n_~ thanks for all the nice comments, enjoy the new chappy! 

**Tbpeppy**-AHH!!! *hugs you like mad* THANK YOU!!!!!! *blush* sorry for all the wait, I hope I have made it up with this chappy, hope you like it!! 

**Macky**-thanks! Enjoy the new chapppy! 

**YumiYa**- n_n;; thanks! See! I've continued! *after millions of years* u_u;;..hope you enjoy!!  
  
This chapter is dedicated to all of those who have waited faithfully for this next chapter, and especially TBPeppy, who has shown so much care for this fic!! THANK YOU ALL!!!! *sniff* I'm so happy! Okay, enough with all the mushy stuff, READ!!!! Lol, and enjoy :p  
*****  
  
*~*Not Always a Fairy Tale*~*  
**~**Chapter two-Rebirth**~**  
  


  
"I'll never forget you.."  
  


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_"Doctor, I think she's coming back."  
  
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_  
"She was really lucky to survive, with only a broken arm and a bruised ribcage."  
  
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"The impact was enough for her to die instantly."  
  
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"Do you think she'll be okay?"  
  
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"She has opened her eyes."  
  
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**Everything is white…why is everything so white? The wall...the light...the people are all in white….am I in heaven?**  
  
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"She seems to be fine"  
  
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**This is a very weird place…I'm so…. confused….  
  
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"Hitomi, how are you feeling?"  
  
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**Is she talking to me?  
  
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"Who.…who is Hitomi?"  
  
_**.  
  
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*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  


  
A young woman gazed at the horizon, watching as the sun was setting with blood red paint splattered across the sky. The flowers danced as the light afternoon breeze ruffled her golden brown locks, causing her to close her eyes. She smiled as she listened to the melody of the birds, wishing she could fly free like them. As the youth opened her emerald orbs, she noticed she wasn't alone, a young man was sitting beside her, gazing fondly at her with a smile on his handsome face, and she smiled back.  
  


  
"Van"  
  


  
 =snap=   
  


  
**_It was only a dream_**. Thought Hitomi as she lied back down into her comforting pillow.  
  


  
"Hitomi, is that you?" Asked a croaked voice beside her.  
  


  
"Yeah, it's me, Hiroshi," Said Hitomi smiling at her tired husband, "Go back to sleep, I'll only get a cup of water."  
  


  
Hiroshi nodded his head and drifted once again to the world of dreams as Hitomi left the room quietly. On her way back from the kitchen, Hitomi heard a soft moan coming from the room next to hers. As she gently opened the door, she found her young daughter thrashing in her sleep, obviously having a nightmare.  
  


  
"Mommy?" came the fatigue voice of the little girl as she senesced her mother's presence in the room.  
  


  
"I'm here my little angel." Said Hitomi lovingly as she turned on the lights and sat down next to her daughter, "Nothing will happen, I'm here."  
  


  
"I had a nightmare and…and….it was horrible!" cried the small being in her mother's lap.  
  


  
"Shhh….it was only a nightmare, it's not real, Aiko." Tried Hitomi to calm a scared Aiko.  
  


  
"But…but, it was so real." Said Aiko with tears in her eyes, trying to be as brave as possible not to shed anymore.  
  


  
"It's alright, it's over. Do you want me to tell you a story? To make you forget the horrible dream?" offered Hitomi while she brushed aside a few strands of golden brown hair from Aiko's view.  
  


  
"Oh would you, mommy? Please? I love it when you tell me stories!" Cried a happy Aiko with twinkling brown eyes, already forgetting about the haunting nightmare.  
  


  
"Shhh, you must be quiet, you wouldn't want your father to wake up, now would you?" Said Hitomi brightly at her daughter, happy that she was smiling again.  
  


  
"Okay," Replied Aiko shyly.  
  


  
"Now, what story would you want me to tell you?" pondered Hitomi as she glanced at her daughter.  
  


  
"Oh! I know! How about when you and daddy met?" asked a too enthusiastic Aiko.  
  


  
"Aiko! You always ask that," said Hitomi exasperatedly.  
  


  
"But I like to hear how mommy and daddy met." Cooed Aiko shyly at her mother.  
  


  
"Oh, alright, my little angel." Replied a defeated Hitomi, while smiling at her daughter. Aiko always won with that sparkling smile of hers, no one could deny her.  
  


  
"Mommy," asked Aiko impatiently.  
  


  
"Alright, alright, hold down your horses. Mommy's thinking," Replied Hitomi as she dug through her mind into that fateful day.  
  


  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  


  
_"Hitomi!!" Screamed happily a red headed while waving furiously at a brown haired youth.  
  
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"Yukari," Smiled Hitomi as she saw her friend make her way to her, "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at Mr. Yoshiko's class?"  
  
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"Nah, it's too boring," Said Yukari playfully.  
  
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"Yukari!!"  
  
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"Chill, Hitomi. Actually, Mr. Yoshiko isn't here yet, seems like we're gonna have a substitute, and the principal said we could have a 10 minuet break, since they need to find a person to take Mr.Yoshiko's place. So, that means I can be with you!" explained Yukari as she opened her backpack, and took out an apple and diet coke.  
  
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"Lucky me," Said Hitomi sarcastically, " I hate it that we have different lunch periods, College sucks." Complained Hitomi.  
  
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"Ah, cheer up, 'Tom, It isn't that bad. Hehehe…especially the guys." Winked Yukari as she gave her friend a knowing look, causing Hitomi to blush furiously.  
  
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"I don't know what you're talking about." Mumbled Hitomi as she glanced at her lap, flicking an imaginary dirt.  
  
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"Ah! Hitomi you don't fool me, I've seen the way you've been looking at a certain brown haired hottie." Grinned Yukari from ear to ear.  
  
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"You must be imagining things, yes! You should get some sleep." Attempted Hitomi to change the subject.  
  
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"Oh, really? I thought Isamu was the lucky guy." Smiled Yukari.  
  
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"It's Hiroshi," Just as the words slipped out of her mouth, Hitomi smacked herself mentally. **STUPID!!!**  
  
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"Gottcha," Smiled Yukari triumphantly.  
  
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"Alright, you won, happy?" asked Hitomi slightly annoyed by the embarrassing occurrence.  
  
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"Nope, not until you have the guts to talk to him. He is obviously head over heals for you too, Hitomi!! Have you seen the way he looks at you? Hell, even a blind person would notice! " Screeched Yukari dramatically.  
  
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"But...I don't know...it doesn't….feel right," thought Hitomi out loud.  
  
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"What do you mean, Hitomi?" asked Yukari slightly confused.  
  
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"Well, even though I may like Hiroshi, I...don't… I…." mumbled Hitomi.  
  
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"You don't what?"  
  
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"I don't feel my heart beat race wildly, I only feel a tingling sensation, but…that's all," Said Hitomi as a confused expression lay on her features.  
  
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"Hitomi." asked Yukari unsurely.  
  
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"Yes?"  
  
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Do you…do you remember the...um...car crash from last year?" said Yukari choosing her words wisely.  
  
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"Yukari-"  
  
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"Do you remember anything at all?" continued Yukari.  
  
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"Yukari, I still don't understand what you're talking about. I remember most of the things that happened in my past." Responded Hitomi as she cocked her head to the side, not comprehending Yukari's words.  
  
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"I mean, do you remember what happened...before your disappearance?" asked Yukari worriedly.  
  
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"No, all I know is that I was gone for a few days...and that you said I've changed." Said Hitomi.  
  
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"Yeah...but after…umm….you know, you've returned to normal, somehow, I dunno. You're different form the changed Hitomi….but…you're still not the original Hitomi before the disappearance. Hitomi, something happened in those few days, and….whatever that is, caused you great pain when you returned." Explained Yukari carefully. When she noticed the confused expression on Hitomi's face she corrected herself, "What I mean, it was a pain no one could help.and I'm guessing it's a pain I know too well from when Amano left." Said Yukari as a lone tear fell down her rosy cheeks, causing Yukari to wipe it away as quickly as possible, not wanting Hitomi to see her in that state.  
  
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"Yukari," said Hitomi as she brought Yukari into her arms, embracing her dear friend, wanting to take away her pain for loosing her only love.  
  
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"He's gonna come back-"  
  
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"Let me finish, Hitomi, please," requested Yukari as she saw Hitomi nod numbly, "I.I think you found love, true love, Hitomi. You gave all the signs, never wanting to meet guys, always sulking, crying for no reason, dull eyes.you were so different.and you stopped doing those tarot card reading...and what happened to the undying crush you had on Amano? Sure, I felt the same way, but, I knew you felt it too!  And I preferred that you should have him, not me. But it turned out you didn't feel the same way when you returned." Replied Yukari as she looked deeply into Hitomi unreadable expression.  
  
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"I…that's ridiculous, Yukari. Nothing happened, I was just gone for a few days, nothing happened," said Hitomi as she turned her head to the other side, avoiding Yukari's eyes.  
  
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"Hitomi-"  
  
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"Don't! I don't want to hear it! Please stop!" said Hitomi as she covered her ears to block the aching words. She knew, something did happen, something unexplainable but she couldn't remember, as hard as she tried, only a mighty headache was given as prize. She was sick of it, why did these things always happen to her?  
  
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"Wait! Hitomi!" rang Yukari's voice inside Hitomi's head as she ran all she was worth, almost stumbling as she made a violent jerk, turning around the…  
  
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BAM!!!!!  
  
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"Miss? Umm...miss? Are you alright?" asked a shaky voice.  
  
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"Sorry, I wasn't looking, I'm fine, thanks," said Hitomi as she lifted her head; ready to accept an offering hand to rise, she froze. Amber met emerald.  
  
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"H-hitomi?" baffled Hiroshi as he recognized the girl of his dreams.  
  
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"Hiroshi! I-I'm sorry." Whispered Hitomi the last part as her head bowed down, ashamed that she bumped on her so called 'crush'.  
  
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"Hitomi? Are those tears?" asked Hiroshi uncertainly, as he lifted her chin with his fingertips.  
  
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"These are nothing!" cried Hitomi as she flung her hand across her face, wiping as much tears as she could.  
  
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"Here, use this." said Hiroshi gently as he handed a hanker chief to Hitomi.  
  
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"Thanks." thanked Hitomi with a small smile.  
  
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"Your welcome." Said Hiroshi as he offered his hand, and Hitomi took it.  
  
_

  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  


  
"…. And than auntie Yukari had said some things that hurt my feelings and I ran away from her. And as I made my turn…I bumped into your dad-"  
  


  
"And he gave you the hanker chief?" asked Aiko eagerly.  
  


  
"Yes," said Hitomi, "he did."  
  


  
"Mommy?" asked Aiko shyly.  
  


  
"Yes my little angel?" said Hitomi smiling at the adorable express on her daughter's features.  
  


  
"Can you tell me another story?" wondered Aiko as she laid her head on Hitomi's lap.  
  


  
"Not today, my little angel. Maybe tomorrow, okay?" said Hitomi as she ruffled Aiko's hair.  
  


  
"Hey!" pouted Aiko while she crossed her arms, making her mother chuckle softly, "it's not funny," grumbled Aiko with a frown.  
  


  
"Sorry, I just couldn't help it," said Hitomi as she kissed her daughter's forehead, " did your nightmare go away?"  
  


  
"Yeah, thank you, mommy," thanked Aiko as she scrambled under her cover and snuggled at her pillow, watching as her mother turned off the lights.  
  


  
"That's good, good night, my little angel," said Hitomi as she blew a kiss to her daughter.  
  


  
" Night mommy!" said Aiko as she blew a kiss back at her mother.  
  


  
Hitomi smiled, and closed the door.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"You're… an angel…"  
  


*´¨)   
¸.·´¸.·´¨) ¸.·*¨)   
   
  


(¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´   
  


  
             (´¸.·*·

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
There! No cliffy this time! YAY!! ^__^ ah.I hope this chappy wasn't too short.and Hitomi's dreams are starting to come!! (that's a good thing, folks) *silence* she's gonna remember when she was in Gaia!!! *everyone still looks confused* never mind.u_u;; Well, review!!!! I just love those thing, who doesn't? the more reviews, the more inspiration and a happy author!! OH YEAH!!! And, if you wish, I give you my full permission to flame!! That's right folks, any complaints, just give a little flame, but nicely, please. If it's nasty, don't expect a good response or maybe I'll even quit with this fic altogether u_u;; yes...i got low self-esteem, so be gentle!!! Okay, thanks so much own again to those wonderful people who have reviewed and waited, I LOVE YOU GUYS!! (lol, don't take it to the heart ^_^;;)  
  
Ja ne!!!  
  
hitomi-chan^-^  
  
19/08/03


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